New Clothes....

This might be a strange post. And, it may be a post that no one understands or only certain people understand. But, I am going to write it anyway.

I reach a point in pregnancy where I am tired of my maternity clothes. I remember this happened earlier in the pregnancy with Ben. There were clothes that I started wearing when I first began to show (which wasn't until 16-20 weeks with him). I liked these clothes a lot but by 30 weeks, it was just hard to wear them. They were either uncomfortable or they just looked bad because I was so used to wearing them with just a small bump....and not a large baby bump. I went out to Target and purchased a couple of "new" things just to get me through the end of the pregnancy. They new things were comfortable and they helped me continue working up until the day I delivered.

With this pregnancy, I have been squeezing myself into some non-maternity clothes. Thankfully, the second hand clothing stores in PNG have some of those tops that would work as maternity or not. But, as my belly grew, they flattered less. After all, they weren't meant to be maternity tops.

Thankfully, some of my friends in PNG let me look through their maternity clothes and either have or borrow some. YAY! This was a life-saver. And, I even managed to find some maternity jeans in PNG.

Then, my mom was given a lot of maternity clothes and baby items. She started shipping the clothes to me. I loved these packages and was so happy to have them. I know I would have survived this pregnancy without the clothes my mom sent, but it would have been hard. There comes a point where you just need maternity clothes. My mom continued to supply these for me!!!

I promise I am getting to my point of this post. I wrote all of that above because in NO way do I want those who lent or gave me clothes to think that I wasn't thankful. I wore those clothes and some of them are here with me in Australia. It was so nice to get these items while living in PNG where we just had no other options. I felt beautiful in them and that is a rare feeling to have in a place where fashion means nothing. In PNG, you don't have to have nice clothes. You can get by with almost anything. But, these clothes made me feel blessed to have people willing to send them my way!

But, there is a point in pregnancy when I just don't like the clothes I have been wearing all pregnancy anymore. I loved them when I had a smaller belly....but at the end, they feel too tight or just look bad to me. It's mental. I know it is in my head, but it happens. This happened in PNG.

Then, we arrived in Australia where there are so many people dressed in such beautiful clothes. You walk through the mall and think, "I just wish I had thousands and thousands of dollars to spend here." It was sad moment looking around at all the fashions and all the clothes and realizing you just couldn't afford it. You convince yourself that this is just culture shock and a very normal thing to think about. This mentality lasted a day or two....and then I moved on with my thought process and God reminded me of all the things I do have....and how I will always struggle with wanting more than I can have....no matter what I actually do have.

Today, we got a package from my aunt and uncle. Inside, were two brand new Motherhood Maternity tops. Maybe the pregnancy is making me more emotional and hormonal than normal, but I almost cried. Literally.

You just cannot possibly understand how happy it made me to get these two, beautiful tops. I decided a long time ago that there would be no point to buying maternity clothes once we got to Australia. I plan to buy some clothes after the baby is born. But, it was just never something I considered buying because I knew I could make it through 4 weeks with the clothes I brought. But, I have reached that point. Though I still like the clothes I brought, I just feel very pregnant in them. Having these new tops is like giving me a new identity. They were an unexpected surprise that even I didn't realize would make me so happy. So, thank you Aunt Juju and Uncle Frank! I may sound pathetic and I may sound silly, but your package was JUST what I needed and came at JUST the right time.

(We have also received other amazing packages and know that even more are coming. The love you have all poured out on us is humbling and encouraging. I will post (soon) about all the other goodies we have received lately!!)