My Grammy's Eulogy...

My Aunt Diane gave the Eulogy for my Grandmother’s funeral.  I love the way that she words everything.  I could not have said it better myself.  Please feel free to read it and share it with us.

 

Eulogy for Dorothy A. Benke

August 31, 2010

 

When we were asked to prepare for today’s Mass, the title of the booklet we were given was… “Continuing the Journey… We Remember, We Believe”-- and how fitting!  Today Mom continues on her own journey.  This is not an end, and although for those of us whose hearts are breaking today it may feel that way—we know better.  Today is simply another stop along the way—and Mom has gone on ahead of us. 

 

Although, I’m not sure if any of us would remember Mom as an independent woman or going off on her own.  No… Mom grew up in a time when a woman’s identity was not so much about who she was and what she did, but rather… whom she married and the family she raised.  Looking out at all of us here today, one could only conclude that she was an extraordinary woman. 

 

Just a little over a week ago on Sunday, August 22^nd, Mom celebrated 65 years of marriage with my Dad.  We all have wonderful memories of those many anniversaries—and they serve as a reminder to all of us that true love is not just for fairy tales… but rather the result of hard work and commitment to one another… even when times are tough and life isn’t perfect.  There’s no question… the joys far outweighed the trials, and despite the struggles in recent years— it brings us great comfort to remember Mom at her happiest… dancing in Dad’s strong and able arms to one of their many “favorite” songs.

 

Mom would be most proud of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren who have grown up… and are still growing up so beautifully.  Among us we have teachers, business executives—and even a policeman.  We have a missionary bringing Bible translation to the most remote areas of the world.  Who knows if we have a future hall of famer, doctor or even a racecar driver in our midst?  Honestly—it doesn’t really matter.  Nothing brought Mom more joy than seeing each of us come into our own—and be the best we could be.

 

There was, however, another side of Mom we all knew well and maybe had a harder time understanding.  When asked if she wanted to take a helicopter ride in Kauai, wait out a hurricane in Charleston or maybe, just once, ride Space Mountain—we would wait for what we knew would be the response… “Oh no-- I hardly think so!”  And although Mom tended to be a person who didn’t take much risk and preferred to play it safe-- she often lived vicariously through each of us and enjoyed hearing about our many adventures.

 

Over the past few days, we’ve received so many phone calls, emails and personal visits from people who knew and cared for Mom.  People have shared stories of how she touched their lives in so many different ways.  We’ve enjoyed reading through her love letters from Dad when he was away at war, browsing through her journal, sorting through so many pictures and remembering all the wonderful trips and family celebrations.  She lived a full and happy life.

 

Her legacy, though understated, is like a quilt—which she loved making.  Each story and memory is a square that has been carefully stitched together.  I’m sure it will continue to unfold for many weeks and months ahead— and we thank you for sharing these memories with us.

 

Finally, Mom instilled in each of us a connection to something bigger, more important than our own selves— and that was family and faith.  When all else fails, we know and understand that we will always be here for one another.  Now is one of those times… so on behalf of my father, sister and brother—we thank all of you for being here to share in the celebration of my Mom’s life— as well as to comfort us in our loss.  She is so very much loved and will be so very much missed.

 

But we also rest easily, and so does she… in the belief that Mom has gone to a much more glorious place that Father Jack spoke about last night and we can only imagine in our dreams.  That right now she is looking down on us with such peace and happiness.  What a “hoot” it must be to be reunited with her mother, father, sister and so many other friends and family who have gone before her!

 

It is a joy, we also anticipate when we, too, have slipped the bonds of this existence on earth and join her—with our heavenly Father and His beloved Son, Jesus Christ.  But for now, we have the Holy Comforter, the Holy Spirit to hold us, strengthen us and encourage us to be strong, be happy and know that all is well.

 

You know David and I now live in Colorado—and Mom and Dad enjoyed visiting us there, seeing the majestic landscape and exploring a whole new heritage and culture.  There is a Native American prayer that is a fitting close to our tribute this morning… and I leave you with this:

 

I give you this one thought to keep - I am with you still - I do not sleep.

 I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow,

 I am sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awake in the morning's hush

 I am the swift, uplifting rush

 Of quiet birds in circled flight.

 I am the soft stars that shine at night.

 Do not think of me as gone - I am with you still - in each new dawn.